First up, apologies for going missing for a month. I was, ….. uninspired. Now that I’m back, I’d like to sink my teeth into our latest bullcrap to hit Malaysia – Changing Your Lifestyle! Yeah, apparently it’s all the rage here in Malaysia, with our government harping about lifestyle changes to counter the recent price hike of essential goods. Hey, when the government tells you to change your lifestyle, you do it. Who knows best, eh?
I look back at my life and I see myself being screwed by the government at every single turn. Sure, some of you might say that I’m unappreciative of all the good things provided by the government like toasted bread and chili sauce. I don’t give a hoot. All I see is myself and a good few million of us being screwed left, right and center. We’re so used to this rape that we’ve kinda feel that it’s a normal phase in life.
Let me begin during all those school years. It’s no surprise our education system, by itself, manages to shape our fresh, young brains at the age of 7 into a putty of useless, spoon-fed goo which is poisoned by government propaganda by the time we’re 17. That’s 11 years of numbing your minds into becoming flocking zombies. When I came out of school, I was a vociferous government supporter. Of course, all my knowledge came from our local textbooks.
During our school days, we’re lead to believe that we must follow the flock. Finish school, do your tertiaries, get a job, get a house, get a family, die. Repeat process with your children. School going children tend to spend hundreds of ringgit per month going for tuition classes when the actual work was supposed to be done in school. What kind of a fucking life for children where you spend half your day studying and spending less time for recreational activities which are indeed very very important? They spend 4-5 hours at school, then another 2-3 hours at tuition classes, then a few more hours doing homework for both school and tuition? What’s the fucking point of sending children to public schools then? And yet we have those eggheads saying that our education system is not problematic.
So we finish 11 years of this nonsense, get good grades at the public examinations, and we’re faced with a whole new conundrum. College, university, and the likes. Okay here is where the stick is slowly being put up your arse. If you’re prepared for another 2 years in school, you can try to score well in the following public examinations, get into a local public university (most probably doing the course you have absolutely no interest in), take a minimal education loan, and get out with a degree. You be well into your mid-twenties by then, probably holding a degree you absolutely never knew existed.
Else you could opt for a private college and take a massive loan to study what you want to study, and graduate with an Honours degree coupled with a RM 50,000 debt the day you receive your scroll. Sweet.
Of course, if you’re financed by your extremely wealthy parents or won a scholarship provided by the government or were lucky enough to be given the course of your choice at the university of your choice or just a plain ‘ol lazy fellar who just wants to stay at home, you’re slightly less screwed then most of us here.
So here I am, like most of you guys reading this, standing here, in my mid-twenties, holding in my hand a degree which was totally useless the moment I stepped out into the working world and also being in debt to the sum of, you guessed it, RM 50,000.
I wonder why do we have to take massive loans to get an education, then of course get a job to pay back the loans, while leaving very little for us to spend on ourselves. Of course if you don’t get your certificate saying that you didn’t spend that many credit hours impressing a lecturer you didn’t even like, you don’t get to have a job in most places. Ironically, the last thing they do in most interviews is look at your damn cert. Now, in order to gain more money to pay off your loans, you need a better paying job, meaning you need better qualifications. What do you do then? Scrimp off your savings or take another loan to do your postgraduate studies while living of Maggi Mee and the mushrooms that grow on that rotten piece of wood on your backyard. Yes, a vicious cycle that we drones readily participate in.
By the time you know it, it’s time for you to start a life with the woman/man you love and therein lies the other big headache. Wedding expenses don’t come cheap and you’d be probably willing to sell your soul just for that one-day fancy dress event. Worse still if you’re Indian, like me. Then it’s time to buy a place of residence. Hey ho there, time to pay the bank a visit for another loan! You then sell your soul, car and pet cockatoo to the bank and continue to pay off the mortgages for another 20 years.
Now, after all this mega shit-fest, the fucking government has the cheek to say, CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE? My lifestyle has already been screwed mercilessly over and over and over again by your nonsensical policies and public fund wastage. I will be spending my life paying off debts. There’s little room for me to enjoy plenty of comfort. I’m not exactly driving a Mercedes that massages by buttocks while I drive. I drive a fucking Proton Iswara which gives me backaches on long drives because I cannot afford anything better since the whole system has made me a slave to it.
So, my fellow Malaysians, do not opt to change your lifestyle. CHANGE YOUR GOVERNMENT. Ptuiiii!!!!