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Tuesday, Kuala Lumpur – The nation’s premier game developer, Bola Kecut Games have announced that they are in the final stages of developing an action-packed, gritty, off-the-wall and humorous video game called Snatch Theft Auto, modeled after the highly successful Grand Theft Auto series.

Chief media spokesperson for Bola Kecut Games, Tan Sri Mangkok bin Kecundang proudly explained that this game is much aligned to the spirit of 1Malaysia to the uninterested media members who were more focused on getting the free ice Milo being offered at the press conference next door felicitating the achievements of a 89 year old man fathering quintuplets with his 23 year old 3rd wife. “The government has spent about 10 billion ringgit to develop this game with national unity in mind. The public should be elated to find out that their tax monies are being spend wisely“, said Tan Sri Mangkok.

Senior developer for Snatch Theft Auto, Peanut Lim Kok Shot, was ecstatic. “This game revolves around the the rise to power of a simple snatch theft motorcyclist named Mat Rempit in the game. Mat Rempit starts out with a mere bicycle at the age of 10, where he progresses from snatching karipaps from tudung-clad aunties to riding 500cc bikes to snatch golden briefcases from Saudi Arabian expats along Jalan Bukit Bintang. Then our hero makes a move into politics where snatching the rakyat’s money becomes more complicated and challenging. It is a game which fully envisions our spirit of nationalism.“, said the graphics whiz with green, parrot-like hairstyle and multiple piercing on his ears, lips and eyebrows.

GTA is for pussies. Real Malaysians play Snatch Theft Auto

Bola Kecut Games ran vigorous testing to ensure the mood of the game fills your mind with vivid recollections of the Malaysian world. Head of the game-testing team, Ramasamy Karuppukotte had this to say: “I spent more hours testing this game than I did having this awesome tattoo on my back that stretches to my butt-crack. Each time I play it, I go woaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You know, like Keanu Reeves. One moment I’m whacking the shit out of an old lady after I snatch her mini-purse from her bra at Kelantan, the next moment I’m holding up a curry house in Brickfields demanding them to load all the mutton curry into my armored truck outside. Later I speed off to throw Molotovs on churches, and then it’s off to step on posters of other politicians. There’s even parts of the game where you gotta trick people into having anal sex with you. It’s AWESOME!“

The game poses tricky situations that the player has to figure out and overcome. There are many missions within the game that extend the playing hours well beyond 50 hours for the top-notch gamers. So all you other fucks will be having loads more time trying to complete the game and achieve bragging rights within your DoTA circle.

The missions in the game reflect our Malaysian culture. Test gamers were found to be very much engaged in the game during missions such as skodeng operations, buying Datukships, raiding internet service providers’ offices, looking for prostitutes in Brickfields and Bukit Bintang, and blowing up foreign models.

Catch them. But only after u enjoy the show.

All these hype made us reporters from Berita Tipu only too eager to play the game for a while, and we rejoiced when we were given the chance to do so. Collectively, our opinion pointed to only one thing: that this is the game of the decade for all Malaysians to play. However, our colleague James Jambubasi from East Malaysia had a differing opinion. “This game does not reflect the spirit of 1Malaysia. I failed to see representations of East Malaysia in the game. All I saw was one fucking hornbill. Even that was during an assignment in the game to shoot down that fucking bird. It’s a fucking shame.“

Only important during elections.

As James Jambubasi’s opinion doesn’t count for shit unless it’s election time, we at Berita Tipu would like to advice you to conviniently nod and ignore it. Snatch Theft Auto will be out on Malaysia Day on PC, PS3 and XBox.

Berita Tipu.

- inspired by @anthraxxxx

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