Latest news is that tigers all over Malaysia are outraged at this spectacle. A member of their species is being mistreated, and they’ll be damned if they just sit still. The official spokestiger for the Malayan Tiger, Datok Seri Hari-hari Mau, said “We tigers are deeply saddened by this event. The humans are asking for too much. We have already sacrificed a lot for the humans by not eating them and letting them colonize the jungles to make way for cities and towns. What more do they want?“. He later let out a mighty roar and proceeded to shit beside the rostrum.

The Malayan Tigers are expected to be picketing in front of A’Famosa tomorrow. Inside sources led us to believe that they will be throwing their dung onto Albuquerque’s statue to show that they “have had enough of this shit“.

A time when human-tiger relations were good

The Bengal Tigers in India are also outraged at this unforeseen, but not unprecedented event. They however, are not planning anything divisive and would do things the way Mahatma Gandhi did. A fasting event is scheduled to take place on sunrise tomorrow at New Delhi. The Bengal Tiger Satyagraha Movement of Non-Eating will be expected to hand a memorandum to the PM of India, requesting India to pressure Malaysia to take positive actions.

Rogue Bengal Tiger, Shere Khan of the Tigerban, has come out with a Youtube video recorded in cave of undisclosed location. Sporting a rather large turban and unshaven fur on his face, Shere Khan, who went into hiding after unsuccessful guerrilla wars against Captain Mowgli in India, threatened Mankind saying at all Big Cats must rise against the evil and (mostly) capitalist man. “We will crush man with our powerful jaws and incisor teeth and tear their flesh out of the bones. Then we will enjoy a cool dip in a pond and sleep thereafter.“, he said, while waving his paws with the claws out, clearly just sharpened and polished with Mr. Brasso.

Shere Khan - Fucking Pissed Off

Thundercat member, Tygra, who is also second-in-command, has commented very little on the matter. He entered into deep meditation to connect with his tiger forefathers and pray for a swift and amicable solution between humans and tigers. Lion-O was unreachable, as sources say that Cheetarah was in heat and Lion-O was probably banging her kitty brains out.

Just including this picture for fun

Across East Malaysia, the Bornean Clouded Leopards have also spoken out in regards to the A’Famosa debacle. “Why is it that discrimination is very widespread in West Malaysia? Here, the humans do not mind us no matter what fur pattern we have, be it spotted, striped or being an albino. They equally fear us all and will automatically run away in the opposite direction as fast as they can.”

The American Pumas, or more commonly known as Cougars, are taking a liberal stance on this matter. Their spokescougar, Courtney Cox-Arquette, said that they are all deeply saddened by the matter, but cannot do anything much. “If the Malayan Tigers feel they are being discriminated, the American doors are always open for them to seek asylum at. This is an equal opportunity country even for an animal.“

Pictured: A Cougar

If Malaysians would care to remember, the last animal protest was by some cows, in regards to the cow-head matter in Shah Alam. The cows walked together hand-in-hand with pigs in protest to being used as political tools. Their effort was however snubbed by frogs.

- Berita Tipu

PS: Make yourself heard. Social media has never been more powerful to help bring justice. View twitter topics such as #tolongTiger and #tolongTigers.

PS-2: Don’t ask me why am I asking for support for tigers and not for our fellow “human” Malaysians. I have been doing the latter for the past few years through my blog writings. You might have been just too stupid to understand.

PS-3: Tiger Balm company stocks have plunged. Maybank hasn’t issued a statement yet. The Malaysian Football Team, Harimau Muda, is quiet. Might as well be. They look lethargic and under-perform even without sedatives.

PS-4: Jibby is launching a 1Tiger campaign. PERKOSA is however preaching that the tigers deserve the treatment and they shouldn’t “talk shit”.

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