It has come to the attention of the world that Malaysia is the latest country in the world at the receiving end of terrorists. These extremists have been targeting churches and schools with any connection with Christianity. Citizens might grow to fear these powerful insurgents, and if George Bush was still President of the United States, he would’ve already pointed his finger to our small country misquoting age-old idioms all in the name of eradicating terrorism from the world.

Fear not. These terrorists pose no harm. They’re all a bunch of retard failures from terrorism schools.

You have terrorists around the world striking fear into the hearts of law abiding citizens like you and me. Our Malaysian terrorists are the direct opposite. Not only their terrorism attempts have been epic failures, but they seem to make Achmed the Dead Terrorist look so much professional. And he’s a fucking ventroloquism doll!

Worshiped in 27 countries. Sex symbol in 13.

Making molotov cocktails isn’t such a big deal, you know. And yet somehow, these retards seem to fuck up even the simplest task of terrorism. I’m not advocating or supporting their actions, though. I’m just pointing out how fucking stupid you can be if your fucking molotov cocktail doesn’t explode. Fire, flammable material and glass bottles. It’s like going to the crapper and not knowing how to poop. God must’ve seriously made some cutbacks while he was creating these retards.

Their next course of action was to smear paint on church walls. That’s original. Ok, so when you first heard about it, you would’ve thought, OMAIGOAT, a whole wall? This is baaaaddd!! Then you take one look at the said wall. Then you thank God for His infinite wisdom of making paint prices so high that these cheap terrorists can’t even afford to buy paint. Hey, the economy’s a bitch to all of us, right? Why shouldn’t terrorists feel the pinch as well?

Early reports indicate that the whole church has to be repainted.

A theory as to why this happenned was that these retard terrorists were trying to emulate the local triad moneylenders’ technique of intimidation using deadly paint. Upon arriving at the location (the church), these idiots had failed to anticipate that Jesus walked everywhere he went, thus his situation of not having a car, which lead to these churches not having cars at their premises. Where else do you hurl paint if there’s no car in sight? Sadly, one can of paint doesn’t exactly scream “Watch out!”.

Fucking stupid idiots.

Next thing you know they’d be attacking a Mormon or Lutheran church. You didn’t know? Their first attack was at a Protestant church, even though their beef was at the Catholics. Speaks volumes about the sheer intelligence of these retards.

You know the best part of all this? That congress that tries to be more Malay than the Malays. More Muslim than other Muslims. Despite the fact that they are ethnically Indian, they wanna be Malays. And yet, they still have the word “Indian” in their name. You’d think that by now, someone would’ve pointed it out to them? A monkey with half a nut could’ve known that. Sheesh.

Seedy intelligence. Wouldn’t even label it as intelligent.

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