Why is it that everything in this country seems so fragile? Why does someone jump their head off when something “taboo” is spoken out in public, when it is clearly not “taboo”? Why is it that I fear my children, and their children will forever be regarded as a person of “another colour”? Why do we always have to think a million times before voicing out displeasure?

Why does MACC hire a man who failed physics to represent them?

Why do some parties police the country looking for things that, according to them, incite hate and create disharmony among races? When did the freedom of expression got bottled up in the name of national secrets and/or security? Why does a man gets questioned by the police when someone incompetent in language skills makes an absurd police report? And why do some people blind the eyes of the people they serve with pointless finger pointing but never with beneficial actions? Truly the freedom of expression is very much lost to the ruling party. I’m considered a hard leftist whenever I choose to question something without blindly obeying. Idiots who grovel at their feet, on the other hand, are rewarded (directly or indirectly) and continue to stagnate in their thoughts and actions. The finale comes when these grovelers put the country’s name at shame by their stupidity.

Another national pride - The "unsinkable" submarine. Truly unsinkable.

Am I inciting hate? Or am I creating disharmony? Am I insulting my rulers? Or am I insulting a religion? None of those. Achieving independence is about learning to broaden our minds in every aspect. It is about mending old problems. It is about paving new ways towards advancement in skills and knowledge. Independence is about letting go of outdated policies and believes and replacing them with new ideas for the benefit of all of a country’s residents. Independence is about being able to think for yourself, and be free to voice out your displeasure. Be damned those politicians who think that I owe my allegiance to them. Be damned those politicians who think that their policies are in place to protect me. I am protected by the constitution, thank you very much. It is the retards and idiots who bend the constitution to suit their own whims and need that I am afraid of.

I want to see a future for me, where I am not discriminated based on petty differences of man such as the presence of facial hair or underwear colour AND skin colour. I want to know that I have the freedom of choice. Malaysians should be able to support any football team they want, without the overzealous zealots going on about devil-worship. I wanna express opinions without having some shit-faced asshole make a police report on me just because he is NOT smart enough to understand my comments. I wanna go to concerts and watch Beyonce shake her booty. Does this make me immoral? Why do I have moral police watching over my shoulders, trying to “protect” me?

We’ve dealt with immature racists and slimy politicians for so long that some of us have grown to “accept” that this is how things will be from now on. I’d tell those people to wake up from their slumber. No one must give up. If you truly believe that the nation is in distress and the government’s policies are detrimental to how we as a society will progress, then you shall never give up. How long will you stay silent for the travesties? Deaths in custody, corruption and leakages in the national coffers are rife.  Freedom to gather peacefully have been taken away. You CANNOT afford to stay silent AND be truly independent from the shackles of tyranny.

Apparently, he strangled himself. Then jumped out of the building. Case closed.

Banned in Malaysia. Dangerous. May lead to vigils.

I was born in this country. So did both my parents, all 4 grandparents, and 6 of my great-grandparents (only 2 were immigrants). Why should I be thankful to anyone except this land I call home? I contribute to society with equal zeal and honesty, yet I cannot brush off the feeling that I am unwanted by some quarters. I am labeled by communal stigma and although it is a burden most of us have to bear, it is one that I wish it I did not have. It is one that makes me want to lay the smackdown on those wretched scum of Malaysia who concoct wild accusations of “insulting Islam, insulting Malays and insulting the King”.

Soon you'll be arrested for insulting this fler. Don't say I didn't warn you.

53 years of independence has brought us much advancement and achievements. But none would be so foolish if he were thinking that all of this is enough. There is a long, long way to go. Even after 53 years, there are some aspects still with closed doors and closed minds. Let’s just hope they open up by the time the next 50 comes up. I want to be able to raise the national flag and call myself a Malaysian without racial references. I know that this concept is still a dream at the moment, yet I do not fail to hope. I’ve seen plenty of wonderful Malaysians that have broken out of the mould the government set, and they keep my hope alive.

SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA KE-53

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The art of laughing, first discovered by man when possibly after discovering fire, when a caveman sat too close to it and burned off his pubic hair resulting in mass hysterical laughter by his fellow cave dwellers, is fast becoming a lost art. Bolehland netizens, who mostly use the internet to download porn and watch Youtube clips, are becoming increasingly anal and to a certain level, certified fuckheads when they cannot even comprehend disclaimers put on satire/parody sites.

After failing this with flying colours, proceed to make a police report.

The rule of idiocy looks to be the order of the day. Two biggest communities in Bolehland — Fesbuk and Twitterjaya — are quite influential in spreading links of funny articles and scantily-clad women to their peers. The issue here is, many fuckheads tend to overlook the obvious notices of satire/parody — for example, when a blog clearly mentions “True lies. Total horsecrap. Absolute fiction.” on its main banner for all to see. They then post links in the said communities with emotionally charged comments like “Don’t tok sheeeet!” or “Tiu Nia Bu!!!“. Of course their fellow commenters, who miraculously also lose all ability to perceive logic at the drop of a hat, spread the message with even more venom instead of toilet humour, make the whole debacle more serious that it should have been.

The total arse-ness of Bolehland citizens in reference to satire/parody can be actually blamed on the failed education system. Bolehland practices a very special type of teaching method called “spoonfeed-your-pupils-till-their-brains-stop-functioning-and-they-develop-learning-impediments“. The pupils in school have everything stuffed down their throat by when after the initial 11-year period, they lose all ability to think critically, thus humour is lost. As they say, comedy is serious business.

Authorities in Bolehland were never known to be receptive to satire/parody. With leaders being accused of sodomy and other out-of-this-world sexacapades (honestly, they’re not out of this world. They take place in shady hotels with hidden cameras or condominiums which need passwords to enter), it is no surprise that most men of power in Bolehland walk around with a retractable baton wedged inside their lazy arses.

Retractable batons – Guaranteed to remove humour

Is there hope for satire and parody in Bolehland? Will laughter rule the nation again? I’m not too sure. Let’s just hope the electricity stays on long enough for you to finish reading this, lest you go around the city shouting “Tiu Nia Bu!“.

— Berita Tipu. Kalau hang nak caya, hang ni memang bodoh sial.

This blog sympathizes Hassan Skodeng for the unfair treatment he’s being subjected with, due to the epidemic of “stupidity” spreading far and wide in Bolehland. Keep on fighting.

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