So, it got me thinking, with the help of fellow satirists from Twitter (Bongkersz and Anthraxxxx), that there are many things that have arose from the campaigning in Hulu Selangor. Malaysians would do well to learn from it and at the same time give me increased site hits so that I can supplement my income.

Lesson 1: Don’t embarrass yourself (and others) with bad English

Sourced from Balajoe27

Why P Kamalanathan is the correct candidate for Hulu Selangor?

Chief Kamalanthan has been active in politics since age of 18 year’s old where grownup from grassroots to a position where he is now. Kamalanathan’s Chief of Putera MIC is equal to a battalion’s of army, he has assist many youth’s to a correct path, helping poor students to achieve their ambition. He is a man who really cares for the people. Being like a big brothers to friends & family s this man has made few program which made most of our indian festival in limelight.He has organized National ponggal celebration, Muruku for charity , Forum’s for IPTA and IPTS students , the most record attempt program was doing kolam at up of the KL tower. Such a program’s made MIC and putera MIC top in flash news. We dont just talk, please see this images and link that we have provided.

I think the writer wanted to say “equal to an army batallion”. I don’t think that’s a valid argument here. If we remember correctly, the army lost two fucking jet engines and momentarily had an unsinkable submarine. By the way, airforce/navy/army is like to-may-to/to-mah-to.

Lesson 2: Murukku will save the day

We do not need a man who stands up for the principle he holds true. So what if Zaid resigned because he protested the use of ISA on those 3 people? Apparently, 1Malaysia man Kamal Alan Nathan has done Murukku for charity. I didn’t say it. It was from the Putera MIC website itself (quoted above).

It takes 20 men to make 1 murukku

Lemme tell you about murukkus. Why are they the benchmark of a perfect candidate? They are crunchy. They are yummy. Try eating them dipped in teh tarik. I assure you that it is awesome. Be a man. Try it. I’m talking nonsense. The end.

Pisang goreng has got nothing on murukku.

Lesson 3: Use common sense when doctoring images online

Every political lapdog should know how to superimpose an image properly. It is utterly embarrassing to, you know, get caught doctoring images to spread lies then trying to justify yourself. Next time you wanna do this, make sure you get an image from an independent source, not a very famous online newspaper, you twits.

As you can see, Zaid has magical powers to drink from an unopened bottle.

At least try to employ professional graphic artists. Not some cheap-ass university dropout with MS Paint mentioned in his resume. That twit didn’t even produce the image in higher quality. Real smart. Guess that cybertrooping class didn’t pan out very well, eh?

Photographic evidence that Zaid and Anwar are aliens. You can see their UFO there.

Lesson 4: Make PR stunts convincing.

Kissing hands isn’t a very uncommon thing here in Malaysia. The only catch is, you gotta learn how to fucking do it correctly. If your target person has a squeamish face when you’re about to perform the act, then it’s all downhill from there. Seriously, it looks like he’s afraid of contracting leprosy.

Ewwww!!! Geddit off me! Geddit off me! Geddit off meeee!!!!!

Lesson 5: Stay away from whatever it is that you are smoking.

Watch the video below.

Lesson learned. Don’t smoke crack, kids.

No related posts.

No related posts.