An internet troll is an internet user who posts messages on a public space to cause disruption. They have been quite active lately, appearing in TwitterJaya and propagating pro-government stances although there seems to be very less substance and too much noise in them. Trolls used to live under bridges and scare billy goats, yet now they’ve evolved to use BlackBerry devices and (some) join political parties.

Trolling Twits - Similar, but a lot more uglier

TwitterJayans have seen their own share of trolls in other past internet exploits (eg: blogs, Facebook) but these Trolling Twits seem to be a new breed. Just like the Uruk-Hai. The Uruk-Hai are a meaner version of Orcs. Parallel to that, Trolling Twits are a meaner bunch than forum trolls armed with years of experience in stupidity.

There are a few characteristics of this new breed of trolls that you may want to know in order to recognize them. Trolling Twits are a special breed, often blabbering about nonsense for hours at end sometimes, and it is not hard to distinguish them in TwitterJaya. Here are some of the characteristics.

Reign of Idiocy
Trolling Twits are a stupid bunch. Some twits have bachelor’s degrees yet it does nothing to elevate their intelligence. The Trolling Twits speak out of their asses and they also have trouble comprehending messages by other twitterati. Poor spelling and poor grammar can be attributed to the fact that our Bolehland education system doesn’t actually come out tops in the region, but it takes a toll when poor grammar makes the inferred meaning different than the implied notion. Then these trolls go noising around saying other tweeps are twisting and turning their “facts” when then real fact is they are just too dumb to talk nor comprehend others.

Remember I R Baboon? He's definitely smarter. Relatively.

Let The Insults Fly
Insults aren’t new to TwitterJaya. Satire is as common as politicians breaking promises. The difference is, political satire must be subtle. I myself, am a satirist (if I do say so myself) and my tweets cater to a specific audience that understands satire and gain plenty of laughs from it. Trolling Twits, on the other hand, directly tag the twitter handle of people, and insult them directly. Decorum is a lost art. They only serve to piss people off and certainly there aren’t any laughs coming from it. Sometime I do wonder whether are they affected with Tourette’s syndrome. Although I do have to admit that we laugh AT them for their idiocy mentioned earlier. Hmmmm… maybe they’re not so bad, eh?

Women? Pergggghhh!
Trollin Twits seem to have no care for female members of TwitterJaya, at least for opposition politicians. Though I’d be ready to bet my last plate of mutton perattal that they’d be ever so ready to sellout the females in their fraternity once their vested interests disappear. Insulting is one thing, but directly mentioning a woman and teasing her with sexual innuendos just proves either one of these two things: they simply have no respect for women, or they have mommy issues. Either way, it tells so much of their upbringing. Looks like mommy and daddy spent too much time doing things other than teaching good manners, eh?

Now, son, you do not treat women like garbage.

Block Block Block!
Trolling Twits get very defensive when they aren’t able to argue properly, and start throwing hissy fits rivaling the tantrums of 15-year old girls who are forbidden to watch sparkly vampires in the theater. Most common act that follows after that is the blocking of your twitter profile so that you will not be able to follow them. Yes, it’s true that one retains the right to control who gets to have a peek of their tweets and all, but sometimes the reasons borders on ridiculous and will only make them appear even more of an idiot (which is really really really hard to achieve with them already having a very low IQ). Though if someone else blocks them from following, they immediately go on a public hissy fit condemning that said person, completely ignoring the fact that they’ve trolled on that said person’s timeline over and over again.

The characteristics above are the most common ones proving the existence of Trolling Twits. There are also many other characteristics of these Trolling Twits such as the inability to argue or debate (a characteristic clearly inherited from their whipping masters) and the over-eagerness to be relevant to other TwitterJayans. That can be exemplified with their lame and cheap-ass attempts to start hashtag crazes which always never does catch up, resulting in them looking like thrown out banana skins. If you’re a Trolling Twit and you’re reading this, my advice is, give the fuck up with trying to be funny, eh? You just sound so ridiculous.  Leave it to the pros. Or at least the ones who ARE funny. Not hissy.

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DISCLAIMER: ALL screenshots are taken from www.google.com.my

Yes, I imagine Pasha Sondol’s activities are very much interesting.

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?! Ziana Zain?

I thought Uncle Rais only hated Twitter and Facebook. Never knew about bridges, though.

Who the fuck, in their right mind, would wanna see THAT?!

Take note. Malaysians are bored. A lot, apparently.

Aliens? Seriously? Klingons? Biker Mice from Mars?

So many things happening, and One in A Million is a priority. Great.

Dear IGP, have you tried asking Google?

Wow. Malays having sex is a hot topic. On another note, we have lots of pedophiles around as well.

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