Fuck, I just saw all the old fogies run away at the opposite direction at the mere mention of that date! Yeah yeah. I know that most of them lived through the horrors of the day and the following days. No denying that. You might even dare to call it the Malaysian Holocaust.

I’m not being insensitive here. God knows how insensitive I can be when I’m trying to shove a 2×4 up some politician’s arse using satire. Now is the time to be looking towards the future. How can we exorcise this demon? Ugly, overweight political warlords have long been using the specter of another bloodbath to deter us from speaking up. The ones who survived that day might be gripped with fear. Fair enough. I know how them folks feel. It’s like how I still have a disgust of Marie biscuits after choking on them when I was a kid. Don’t fucking ask me how I choked on Marie biscuits.

For all we know, this might have been the cause of it all

What excuse do you youths have? I’m defining “youth” loosely here (in-line with our political parties). Are you too chicken to challenge the social norms put out by The Man? Or will you grow some balls (purely euphemistic for women; unless.. ahem…) to set our your own rules and be colour blind?

Let’s face it here, folks. The reason the events on that day came to be, was because of misunderstanding between different groups of people, and also the (in)actions of those in power.

I’ve great solutions for those two reasons.

In regards to those in power, tell them to go fuck themselves. Learn to think rationally and that brain of yours would actually say “Omaigoat! I’m actually working! Hey wait a minute… This is wrong. That guy’s a fool. Let’s not listen to him speak from his arse!“. You see? So simple. Issue solved.

How most Malaysian politicians speak

Next, is the issue of (mis)understanding. Come on now. Is it so hard to get to know someone out of your comfort zone? With the advent of social media, there is no longer an excuse to say “Damn, that Indian fellar looks like he’s gonna rob me.“. You could always find him on Twitter and FB and politely ask if he is gonna rob your ass or not. If not, hey, why not go sit down at one of those cafes and pay exorbitant prices for coffee and get to know that guy?

If there isn’t any fear in our hearts, it is impossible to hate. Why hate, when you can love? Certainly you’d wanna be the person who’s out there having a cuppa and laughing and enjoying your life, as opposed to the racial bigot whose mind is filled with gloom and doom and broods hate in his thoughts while sitting in a room with filled more hate emanating from like-minded bigots?

No pussy for these guys.

Not every man or woman who is classified “Bumiputera” wants to destroy your race/religion. They just want some halal food at all accessible locations, along with a karaoke bar that serves non-alcoholic drinks, you know. And that Ah Pek who drives a Mercedes? Perhaps he didn’t cheat and steal to become so rich; instead he might have been working tirelessly day and night selling Char Kuey Teow and making an honest living. Don’t forget that bearded Macha who looks like he hasn’t had a haircut for 6 months over in that corner holding a bottle filled with a pale-brown liquid. That might be cumin water while he’s getting ready for a pilgrimage to India. How about that East Malaysian you see walking down the street? Odds are he wears Renoma underpants instead of loincloths and works as an engineer and buys his chicken at Tesco instead of roaming the countryside with a blowpipe. You see that big man with a turban reading a paper there? Make friends with him, and get invited to his house for dinner one night. Odds are you will be tasting the best chapathi in your life.

Notice how making friends can make you smile like you're on Prozac

All it takes, is one “HELLO”. One smile. One friendly nod. You don’t need to fear May 13. In respect to those who have lost their lives, we should do the right thing by moving on to prove that all those boogieman stories about more racial bloodbaths will not become reality. We should not use their suffering as an excuse to keep us locked in chains of fear.

Just party on. Hang out. Love one another. You don’t need to take arms to fight them bigots. All you need to do is go on with your lives, make lots of friends irregardless of skin colour, call everyone Macha, respect our differences, eat nasi lemak and make fun of YoRais. If possible, have mixed-marriages and make rojak children. Else, just ogle at hot and sexy men/women irregardless of skin colour. Hot and sexy is hot and sexy. No two ways about that.

And don’t forget. Make sure you also contribute to making the Americans richer by paying RM 8 for a small cup of coffee.

NOTE: The author means no disrespect to the Malaysians who have lost their lives on May 13th 1969 and also to those who have lived through the horrors (including the author’s parents). May the souls of those who have passed be in peace, and those who survive able to move on. To those who were born after that: cappucino, ladies and gentlemen?

PS: “Happy people” image stolen from Jessica Tan’s Extractions of A Disoriented Mind: The Jessicat

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