My Seed Stories

Today I skipped seeding around at home (I’m on a long leave from work) and headed to the Big Bad Wolf Books Warehouse Sale at Amcorp Mall, PJ with Sabrina. What an experience that was. Fussy old men, stinking armpits (including mine), sweaty aunties, and nosy kids, all thrown into an area with cheap ass books and narrow walking spaces. What do you get? Nothing much, apparently. Malaysians love cheap shit.

So Sabrina and I headed to PJ and reached the place at around 10.30am. By the time we got there, the place was madness! It was crawling with cheapskate people like us wanting to buy RM 36 novels at RM 8. Sheesh! Our economy is quite bad, I suppose. Sabrina’s biggest question was, what the fuck were all these people doing at a book sale at 10 in the fucking morning on a weekday. The grim reality is that there are many Malaysians out there with nothing better to do. The government should start looking into this shit.

You can imagine what would happen if someone farted here

So it took me 90 minutes to gather all the books that I wanted. By that I mean 90 mins to scour through aisle by aisle, pushing those indiscriminate buffaloes outta the way, mumbling “stupid fucker/asshole/dumbass” under my breath just loud enough for them to hear, giving a seedy stare at donkeys who don’t move aside to lets us wide-girthed people to pass and at the same time picking out books that I want.

I was lucky enough to find my favourite author, Jeffrey Archer being tucked away on one corner. I was lucky. Whatever books of his that I didn’t have, they had. And it was orgasmic. I gathered 9 of his books and then I was off to plunder the Stephen King section. Came out unscathed with 5 books of Mr. King. I also found 2 humour books: Our Dumb World and 50 Ways to Fuck the Planet. I admit, the titles are catchy and they are the reason that I grabbed them. Our Dumb World gives a humourous insight on the countries of the world (eg: Nigeria is a country well known for it’s multi-millionnaire princes with great aptitude for email spamming). And the other book just allows me to show the finger to those tree-huggers who sometimes get in my way of throwing away a greasy burger wrap on the roadside. Come on, it’s Malaysia! Anywhere is your rubbish bin (except your house).

The dick standing behind Sabrina in our long queue to the payment counter was complaining on and on and on about how he finds this long queue problematic and such wussy statements. I see all those books have begun to give an impact on his wuss-meter. The siren was blaring inside this man. He couldn’t possibly understand why were there so many people and why the queues were a nightmare. Dude, you’re getting cheap books here. Of course there’s gonna be a stampede of cheapskate Malaysians barging in early in the morning to get these books. You expect to have an air-conditioned villa where you move in your Segway to buy books? We should’ve slapped him silly and told him to grow a pair. You’re there, it’s crowded, you’re queuing up. So what? You’re getting what you came for, right? Pussy.

Anyways, after 90 minutes, we were thankful to get out. We got what we came for. A total of 22 books for me with a total damage of RM 190. Worth every fucking sen. I hope the guys at Big Bad Wolf Books would do this often. And perhaps, next time, you’d might wanna try to get a larger area for the sale. You could fit more people in it and make a faster profit.

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