Saying “sorry” all the time would only make you look like a sorry person. If you don’t say sorry at all, you would look like a high-nosed SOB. My advice is, just say sorry when the situation calls for it. No one told you to really mean it, right?
Just like Captain Vijayakanth mentioned in one of the most outrageously stupid Tamil movie in history: “Mannippu. Tamil-le enakku pudikkaathe varthe” (translation: “‘Sorry’. The word that i despise the most in Tamil”)
Capt. Vijayakanth. You can see how much he hates the word “Sorry”
Well, i think he had his own justifications in uttering those ever famous words which is forever etched into out minds (sadly). The word “sorry” has been used almost as often as toilet paper. Its usage has multiplied faster than field mice.
You wanna say “sorry”, you better keep the following situations in mind:
- You accidentally brushed against some woman’s boobs in a crowded mall
If you’re a male, just walk away. Even if you stop to say “sorry”, she’d think you’re a pervert. A pepper spray might follow. Temporary blindness may occur. “Sorry” is bad in this case.
- You’re walking in a corridor, and notice your sworn enemy is heading your way reading a leaflet. You “accidentally” bump his shoulder.
Turn around, say “sorry” with a devilish smirk. Raise one eyebrow. “Sorry” is good, if you wanna intimidate him. “Sorry” is bad if he busts a cap in your ass the next day.
- You forgot to hand in your assignment which was due yesterday. You hand it in today.
“Sorry” ain’t gonna give u back the lost marks. Just leave it on the lecturer’s desk and vanish. Waiting till the lecturer arrives and saying “Sorry” will only provoke them to give a long lecture about discipline. Some might even act like your not there. “Sorry” is definitely not worth it here.
- You’ve knocked up your girlfriend. She’s standing in front of you with a pregnancy test-kit, showing “positive”
Saying “Sorry” in this case would the the biggest mistake of your life. Maybe the last thing you’d ever say before she sticks a knife through your heart. The best reply would be “So….. baby… watchu gonna do?”, said in an innocent tone of a 5-year-old.
- Your girlfriend flew halfway around the world to give you a surprise visit on your birthday, and finds you shagging your neighbour.. On the couch she bought for you last year.
GF: “Sorry…?? You’re sorry? You lying sniveling son of a bitch. Why, i oughtta stick a knife through your sick heart!!”
You: “Urrmm… I was actually not apologizing to you. I said sorry to Stacy here, because I brought her here instead of going to her apartment”
Gill Grissom (the next day): Hmmmm…. It seems we have a double homicide here.
Hope u’ve wasted enough precious time reading this. I’m SORRY.
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