Kuala Lumpur, 19th July – Bolehland officials today, in an increasingly paranoid and irrational move, banned the colour yellow from the rainbow. Yorais, the MisInformation Minister, today announced that the rainbow will now not be recognized as a legal coalition unless 6 of the colours (Red, Orange, Green, Blue, Indigo & Violet) cast out Yellow, which has been linked with a plot to overthrow the King, with help from The Juice.
In a public statement, the Rainbow Coalition has deemed this act to be severely prejudiced, saying that it has nothing to do with the rally in downtown KL on July 9th and has always been non-partisan. They also added that in light of the current statement by Yorais, they are heavily considering to lend their support to that coalition that aims for clean something something something.
“Continous discrimination towards anything yellow in colour will only create more sympathisers to the cause“, quipped Violet, President of the Rainbow Coalition. “Yellow is one of the most esteemed member of our coalition, and we will not cast him out“.
Last week, the yellow Teletubby, Laa-Laa, was arrested in the most unceremonious fashion. Amateur videos have implicated law enforcement officers smashing the television screen on Laa-Laa’s belly and screaming obscenities such as “Balik Tubby-land laaaa! Pengkhianat!“. Laa-Laa is currently held under the Emergency Ordinance although under what pretense, it is still unclear. Other teletubbies, Dipsy,Po and Tinky Winky have condemned the act and promised to hold a candlelight vigil every night until Laa-Laa is released. The vigil has entered its 6th day now.
Meanwhile, the Sinestro Corps, which went underground earlier this month, anticipating crackdown by the officials, have released a video from a cave. Al-Jareeza Engrish picked up the video, which was broadcast last night. It’s leader, Thaal Sinestro, issued a statement – YAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHGGGHHHH!!!!!. Nothing more is known other than the fact that the fear of yellow has fed the Sinestro Corps with more power and they will be poised to take over Bolehland soon, with the exception of The Juice stepping in to finish the job themselves.
The local daily, Utusan Meloya, claims that they know everything about this, though. Meanwhile their editor, Bawang Selamat, is still looking for answers for yesterday’s crossword puzzle. Reports leaked out that he is unable to solve the clue “Xanthophobia is the fear of the colour ________”.
- Bulshittin’ Utama (part of Berita Tipu Networks Inc)
No related posts.